Saturday, December 03, 2005

"And your name would be......?"

If you're not a reader of the NYTimes Weddings pages, you need to get yourself on over to Veiled Conceit and soak up some of Zach's contemptuous treatment of all things matrimonial. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that "ya gots to be somebody" if you want to have your nuptials announced on those hallowed pages. Now I love all things New York, including this fabulous paper, but the truth hurts and the truth here is that pretention is alive and well when New Yorkers of note decide to announce an engagement or a wedding.

Not only is it in your best interest to have a lot of street cred that sounds really big and important with four syllable words and the like, but your parents (why does anyone care who THEY are?) had better be less than three degrees of separation away from the Getty family if they know what's good for them, because their names and occupations are mentioned as well.

It would be extremely helpful if the bride or groom's father's last name started with "Sir" or ended with"Esq. or one of the mothers should be surgeons or entrepreneurs who are responsible for the invention of of such labor-saving devices as the "FlowBee" or "Seal-a-Meal".

And the mamas who don't have jobs don't get mentioned. They're just the MRS in front of the old man's name. Now, that's just WRONG, people. But there's more.

Every Sunday features a blow-by-nauseating blow focus on one couple. How they met. Their courtship. The million-dollar wedding ceremony in Rockefeller Center during which a hundred white doves were released into the sky where they flew in a heart-shaped formation into the sunset. The wedding pages themselves are a riot, but Zach's acid-penned instant replay makes this one of the best blogs around. Check it out.

7 Comments:

Blogger Rock said...

The New York Times is a "fabulous newspaper"??? It's a leftist rag who management had been run out in recent months and who's writers have been found to fabricate the truth and have faced prison sentences. What you are commenting on is not the paper but NY society period. But the paper is trash.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Edge said...

I'll say this. If my wife made a brazillion dollars and I didn't have to work, it's no skin off my teeth that I'm not elaborated upon in my kids wedding announcement!

I'll have to check more of this guy out.

~Jef

6:03 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

I just went to the page, upon your suggestion, for the first time. I don't usually read that section of the paper but in a way I'm glad I don't. His version is much better.

6:38 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

R- I forgot...you're a fan of the Al Jazeera Times. Much more "fair and balanced".

Jef- Mostly, though, a woman doesn't have to have a millionaire husband in order to be marginalized for staying home. I'm just sayin'.

8:05 AM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I enjoy the NY Times and I have always gotten a kick out of the wedding announcements. I want to be the first to say, white trash marries white trash in a true trailer park ceremony. Our parents pump gas at the same station and we met over the glare of gas fumes. I have to go see the site.

Thanks for the comment on my site.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Wordgirl, I love that site. I don't always have time to read it because Zack gets so involved with every little detail - it's easy to get sucked in and suddenly, 2 hours have elapsed.

As for it being a leftist rag, I thought it was called the "paper of record" for a reason.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Misfit Hausfrau said...

I'll have to check out his site. My favorite Sunday activity when we lived in NJ was to get a hot cup of coffee and read and make fun of the weddings in the Styles section. Good times.

7:55 AM  

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