Saturday, December 17, 2005

Product of the Month

Hail to thee-- Dyson Cyclonic Vacuum Cleaner! Thou art truly a miracle of technology. Thou hast made my life more bearable. Yea, tho the carpets be filled with leaves and dust and all manner of crapulous bits of nastiness, you set things to rights with your quiet-but-powerful suction. Even the children...male teenagers who delight in filth and destruction...take pleasure in the transparent canister and find time to hoover up all manner of objects from their bedroom floor--if only to watch them spin around in the cylindrical repository.

I am not a housewife. I do not have OCD. I do have a powerful German ancestry that makes my need for clean surroundings non-negotiable, and I am married to a long-haired man. (See Flickr pic at bottom) His hair is lovely to behold and outshines mine in growth potential, lustre and sheer tensile strength. It is, however, a BITCH to suck out of the carpet.

His mane is responsible for the untimely deaths of two Hoover uprights and a small DustBuster. Even the hose attachment for the ShopVac holds no sway over his stubborn locks, once they've fallen from his head and taken root in the carpet. For years we were reduced to cutting off layers of his hair from the roller of the vacuum with a pair of manicure scissors in order to release it from these hairy restraints. I was also called upon to wrap packing tape around my hand and run it over the affected areas of the carpet in order to totally remove the hair from the floor. I was dangerously close to buying a box of cafeteria-lady hairnets and forcing him to wear them in the house.

And then this lovely English fellow decided that the contemporary vacuum technology was lame and thus designed the Dyson and we were released from the bondage of futile carpet hygiene. Not only are the floors hairless and pristine, but my children's vacuuming skills have been strengthened by a real enthusiasm for the process. You can't buy that kind of a miracle. And...I believe the Dyson also sucks with an English accent. Delightful!


Blogger Plain Jane said...

Wow. I've been avoiding buying one of these because they are so damned pricey... and I just wasn't sure if the "word" on them was all hype.

I guess if you're sanctioning it... I might have to splurge and buy. :D

10:48 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

You know how I am not one to pick but....can you hoover with a Dyson? And, crapulous??? That's a new one for Webster.

How much is one of these babies? Do you really think they are worth it? Also, what stops the hair from getting rolled onto the roller thingy?

11:52 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

*Just trying to avoid overusing the word vacuum as both noun and verb. I think "hoovered" has been adopted as a suitable term for vacuuming...regardless of the make or model.

*Cheapest ones are close $500.

*Yes they are worth it.

*They don't use a metal cylinder for the brush roller. It's a DNA-shaped helix that allows strings or whatever to be trimmed off easily. Most of his hair does make it into the canister. Some does get caught on the roller, but it's much easier to get it off because of the design.

12:09 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

This is about the third post I've seen on these Dyson's and even if my kids have to starve, I am getting me one!

Maybe the British guy can afford to get his teeth fixed now. I love the accent, but everytime I see him I stare at his teeth.

12:16 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Wordie you and I are of one mind. I went to Target last night for diapers and a breather and found myself meandering through the vacuums, wishing I had a Dyson! Yo, that's some crazy shizzle! I am taking your word and your word alone and I'm getting one. Our garage-sale Eureka is louder than Steven Tylers mic check and everyone knows by now that bag vacuums are so Commodore 64.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

I'M SOOOO JEALOUS. I want the purple one that is good with pet hair. Gotta save up for that one. Target has good prices on the yellow one!

3:33 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I want one so badly. But I am a crazy neat freak and we currently own 7, yep that's right seven vacuuming devices including the Roomba that I got last year as a Christmas present. (I know, who wants a vacuum cleaner for Christmas, right. See, I told you. Freak=me.)
So, alas I won't be getting a Dyson anytime soon. Even though my husband loves to go around saying "I just think things should work properly" in a bad British accent.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Tink said...

My Mom has the pet one and raves about it as if it were a fourth and favored child lol. She also was born with that "killer" hair gene. Not only does she kill off vacuums at an impressive rate...

Her hair is also able to travel through space and time. 1 day after I bought my current vehicle, I found one of her hairs wrapped around the steering wheel. Crazy thing: she'd never set foot near the car.

6:39 PM  
Blogger Misfit Hausfrau said...

Sigh. I am starting to wish I hadn't gotten the Orange Electrolux for Christmas last year (I asked for it--really!) It's just that I couldn't understand how the DYSON could POSSIBLY have truly different technology. I also didn't like emptying the dirt cup--still don't. We use our old vacuum with a dirt cup upstairs. While I hate emptying it, it does work like a maniac.

12:47 AM  
Blogger Rock said...

You know what the real answer here is everybody - wood floors. Buy a broom.

3:56 AM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Oh soooo jealous! Although in my family, it's MY hair that somehow seems to multiply once it's left my head. Drives the hubby INSANE.

And may I say that I viewed your Flickr pics and that is one GORGEOUS family! :)

6:21 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I do have wood floors. Kitchen, hallway, the boys' bedroom and their study. Underneath, the whole house has a wooden floor, but both living rooms and our bedroom and the spare room have carpet. Sweeping hair off of a wooden floor is no picnic, either.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Spamboy said...

Vaccums suck. (ba-dum-ching!)

7:38 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Love the vacuum-inspired prose.

Just checked out your photos. You shouldn't be allowed to be this beautiful and talented; really, it's not fair.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

P.S. I forgot to mention that you and your family are absolutely adorable.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Nessa said...

I'd kill for a dyson, except for the fact that we have hardwoods - I STILL WANT IT!!! soooooo jealous - my husband told me no way in hoo-hah-hey was I getting one

12:28 PM  
Blogger Erica said...

Maybe it's the nesting going on with me right now, but every time I see this commercial I long for this beautiful item that I just know will make my life easier.

I just wish a nice British nanny like the fabulous ones on "Nanny 911" would show up with the Dyson. You know, like a free gift with purchase!

7:35 AM  
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