Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Teach Your Children Well..


...because they grow up so very quickly. Here's my evidence.

Full disclosure, my little sugarplums: My kids are not babies anymore. I can't blog anymore about the stretchmarks (though they're still there)and the leaky boobs. No cute conversations about potty training or mis-pronounced words. Back in the day when my kids were little, no one was blogging. The computer was nothing but a fancy typewriter. When the kids went down for a nap, I had the telephone, cable tv and "Old Yeller"(WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD: Old Yeller takes the big dirt nap) on tape to keep me from losing my mind. With everything these 3 Stooges did to keep me one step away from booking a room at Trembling Hills, I could have struck gold in the blogging world. If only...

Now it's just body hair and testosterone. Size 13 shoes and acne medicine so powerful that it bleaches the color right out of their bedsheets. And the collective morning smell of teenage bodies in their pre-showered state that could make buffalo restless several counties away.

It doesn't make for cute blogging. No one's going to say, "Awww!" about a 6'1" boy who eats bean dip for lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE. Or the middle child who enjoys pretending he's a Caucasian version of Ludacris saying, "That's just how I roll!", or the almost-12 year old who wants to blow his Christmas windfall on a $99 Star Wars light saber.

They're keeping us plenty busy, rest assured,but I don't blog about them much because I don't want to invade their privacy. If they were toddlers, though, I totally be selling them (and their bathroom habits) out for the amusement of readers. They're okay with my posting a picture, and I'm doing that so you can see that we don't keep them locked up in a dungeon or anything.

I have one more Christmas left before the oldest one leaves for college, and I'm not handling it well. Not well at all, people. It's all passing too quickly and the years I groaned about the speech therapy so that the middle one could enter school without referring to his legs as his "yegs", the still enigmatic flashes of brilliance amidst the total absentmindedness of our oldest, and the youngest whose hot temper can cause large rocks to break apart in his presence...it all will seem like a breeze...when I compare it to the quiet after the last one gets in his car and drives away.
The next time I blog about diapers, people, they'll be the ones I'm wearing at "the home". And no one wants to hear about that. Not even me.

15 Comments:

Blogger mrtl said...

I have a cousin who tells me whenever she sees me to enjoy Bug now, because someday she'll be 16 and she'll hate me and she'll bring home boys that I'll hate and life will be horrible.

So at least you have boys, right?

12:02 AM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Well, the diapers could have to do with grandchildren, but I am not sureyou want to think about that either.

I know, I worry about the moment they leave and my oldest is only 6. Will they call their mother (daily, I expect daily calls, ha)? Will they find good spouses? Will they liek their job? How will I ever live without them in my house?

Having boys feels a little more uncertain when they go...

12:51 AM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I found another blogger with teenagers! I can't write much about my 14 year old either, because she actually reads my blog. And I have so much material that's being wasted! I have a whole entry pretty much written in my head, titled "Comments Uttered On The Way Home From The Orthodontist's Office" that she'd never forgive me for if I shared. Oh, well, we just have to wait for grandchildren to blog about, I guess (that better not be for awhile)!!!!

4:40 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

It's good to know that parenting is still fun (and still good blog-fodder, whether you use your material or not) when the kids get bigger.

5:53 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

I will hold your hand when eldest leaves - if only through our blogs. It is VERY hard. Last year was my "freak out year/mid-life crisis" as mine prepared to leave. The whole senior year was a freak out for me. When we drove him to his dorm I couldn't let him go and cried in the car on the way home.

You have three gorgeous guys though! I laughed my 13 year old was doing the "that's how I roll" and we got the Star Wars Ultimate Light Saber for Christmas - they've been beating each other daily all week!

6:05 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I love your blog as it is, baby free and spunky. The acne medicine made me chuckle. Thank God for being out of that phase in life! It was only 5 years ago that I moved out from my Mom's house. She cried and thought it was the end of the world. But there are more adventures to be had and your kids will NOT forget you. I call my Mom every single day.

6:41 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

Love the post!

6:46 AM  
Blogger Plain Jane said...

Hey, the next diapers you write about might be your grandchildren! and THOSE little ones you can REALLY spoil! :)

6:47 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I worry about the same thing and well, my oldest is 2.5. And while you think it might not be good blog material, I LOL'd through this entire post. :)

7:32 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Are you kidding? My husband wants that $99 light saber. Some things they never outgrow.
My aunt, who is 42 and had her kids early just lost them both to college in the last two years. Now she is replacing her kids with dogs and has two labrador puppies.
Sweet pictures.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Rock said...

Like I said - you got the market cornered. But real good stuff Syl. I laughed out loud too. And I have never ever seen a diaper.

10:59 AM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Oh holy moly they are gorgeous! See? SEE? Now THAT'S what I want! :D

12:11 PM  
Anonymous jess said...

Thanks for bringing me here! I love your blog and i really feel that teenagers are right around the corner for me - so advice well received!

3:26 PM  
Blogger robyn said...

My husband and I laughed through this entire entry. Happy New Year!

12:30 AM  
Blogger CISSY said...

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed with longing for the days when my children were children. But once they leave, you'll cherish the moments you have with yourself or spouse -- alone. And, then the best part -- grandchildren.

7:09 AM  

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