Thursday, March 09, 2006

Spring Break + Nine Other Things About Me

1) Tomorrow's the last day of school before Spring Break begins. I'm excited...I think. At least there's no homework to nag about, but now I'll have to make sure there's a teenager available to watch the youngest kid while I take a yoga class. Plus...we'll be exceeding our 9 gallons of milk per week consumption rate now that they'll be around all day long. No, I'm not kidding about the 9 gallons. Spring Break revelation about me: I never, ever went to the beach with friends for Spring Break. Never. I always had to come straight home. Not in high school and not even in college. Okay...I did spend two drunken days in Lubbock for PikeFest with my best friend Steve, but then...I came right back home. Did I imagine this or were we drinking beer out of milk cartons? Steve, get back to me about this.

2) I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 15 years old. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Talk to my mother. You know what happens when you hold back on dumb stuff like that with your kids? They wait until they become parents and then they toss back a couple of shots of something, drive to Dallas with a friend and then get their navels pierced. That was almost 7 years ago. It's still there, Mom and Dad.

3) I keep hearing people say that liking The Three Stooges is a guy thing. Personally, I enjoy them. My favorite combination is Moe, Larry and Curly. Followed by Moe, Larry and Shemp. Joe just blows.

4) Staying home with small children can be a lonely business. Years ago I let a vacuum cleaner salesman into the house as well as two sets of Jehovah's Witnesses. Okay the salesman was a bad call, and he was really angry when we didn't buy his product. I let the Witnesses in just because I really enjoy a good argument.

5) When I was a kid, I used to watch "As the World Turns". Every. Single. Day. I kept up with the plot through high school and then when I went to college I witnessed how the world ground to a halt when "All My Children" or "Days of Our Lives" came on. I stopped watching soap operas the minute I left home and I can't for the life of me understand what compelled me to do it when I did. Soap operas feature the worst acting on the planet, except maybe for the Mexican soap operas. Cheesy and overblown. I'm deeply ashamed I ever wasted my time on them.

6) UPDATE #1: I checked on the house down the street while I was on my run today. Uncle Sam, the 4th of July yard display effigy, is still lying in the bushes...silently decomposing. Next to him is a sign I hadn't seen before. It says, "United We Stand". Not in this yard he doesn't.

7) UPDATE #2: I also saw the kid with the shaved eyebrows today. Damn! Eyebrows take a long time to grow back. At least he's not wearing the band-aids anymore.

8) In First Grade, Mrs. Castleberry divided our class into four reading groups and gave each one the name of a bird. Cardinals were the best. Robins were next I think. I was in the Bluejay group, and it took me a little while to figure out that this group was second from the bottom. I don't remember what the worst group was called. Vultures? Crows? I was stunned at being in a group that was bad at something, and it seems funny to me now because of my career with reading and writing. I do remember that it was the first time I was conscious of being "categorized" in a group. The shame was not in the categorization itself but that I was so clearly lacking a skill that I needed and that other people knew it.

9) In 2nd grade, I was washing my hands in the school bathroom when Deborah Kleinman told me that her father was a camel and her mother was a whale. Everyone knew that Deborah told the biggest lies, but for a moment I wanted to believe it was true. She invited me over to play once and her room was wall-to wall shelves of those dolls from every country. There must have been 40 of them and they all had very intricate costumes. I was fascinated, but I really I just wanted to see what her parents looked like. I was very disappointed when they turned out not to look at all the way she described them. She came back to our 10 year high school reunion and said she was a runway model in Paris, France. She was 6 feet tall and gorgeous, but something made me feel dumb for believing her. I haven't seen her since.

10) Not only was I the worst driver of the four of us in the Driver's Ed. car, but I didn't have many opportunities to practice at home. Lacking the chance to drive, I read a lot as I was being driven around. The result of this was that I had absolutely no concept of where I was going or how to get where I needed to get. When I got my license, I had no clear idea how to get to church or even to my grandparents' houses. I kept a spiral notebook with written directions with me in order to find my way around.

Happy Friday!


Blogger R. Robyn said...

i love this post! I never did spring break either. Because I was never allowed to. Needless to say that even as an adult who could do what she wanted, I was still pissed when I heard that my parents allowed my little sister to go to the beach for spring break.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

I just started reading your blog and love the title. I also have to agree 100% on the stooges. Even now when my fiance and I go to home depot to buy a new downspout for the house I called him "wiseguy" twice just to see if he'd do the famous turnaround and knock me over routine to make our own slapstick moment. In some ways, though I'm fortunate he didn't bite.

4:37 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I think I learned more about you in this post than any other. Not only the actual things you chose to share, but the way you told them too.
I especially loved numbers 4 and 9.

7:23 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Re: 1) Me neither.

Re: 4) I never argued with a Jehovah's Witness but when the Mormons sent their sweet young men to my door in dark suits, I couldn't resist. "Come on in. Let's talk about Jesus and Moroni!" The cuter the guys were, the longer I listened and the more I talked. I'm a bad, bad woman.

Regarding number 8: My dad loved to tell the story of my sis coming home from school and saying, "Daddy, Daddy, guess what! I'm the smartest in the dumb group!"

10:57 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

"Deborah Kleinman told me that her father was a camel and her mother was a whale. Everyone knew that Deborah told the biggest lies, but for a moment I wanted to believe it was true." *Snicker* That's just PRICELESS.

I'm with TB. Very informative post. :)

11:26 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Nine gallons of milk. Wow. And how often do you catch them drinking out of the carton? When I think of teenage boys, an image of a gangly kid, standing in front of an open fridge with an Adam's Apple bobbing as he drinks from the milk carton immediately comes to mind.

2) I didn't pierce mine until last year. I can't believe I went so long. Earrings are awesome.

And what about the book-banning shenanigans?

This is great! Ten more next Friday?

1:37 PM  
Blogger Nessa said...

what a great post! Is it sad that we go through 7 gallons of whole milk per week and that's just the for the boy (who is 19 months old)???

2:45 PM  
Blogger CISSY said...

I like this post. I might just borrow...ok steal...your idea and post 10 things about me. But I'll do it on Saturdays because I just have more time.

Happy Spring Break.

4:30 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

Oh - the Drivers Ed car!

I was stuck with the Boy Who Had Been Driving Since Before Birth and the One Who Knew Nothing About Cars....I had learned on a stick and the drivers ed vehicle was an automatic, so I scared the heck out of my instructor a few times by hitting the brake pedal 'shifting' at high speeds, but ANYTHING was better than learning to drive with my parents. Anything.

4:54 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Yes, Mignon, I can answer that - Boys DO drink straight from the container no matter how many times you threaten to take away their standing while peeing privaleges.

I think the slowest reading group would have been the Dodos.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous diseuse said...

I think everyone knew a Deborah Kleinman in grade school. Too bad she didn't outgrow it.

I am really enjoying your writing style. More bloggers should take cues from you.

10:37 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

NINE gallons of milk. Wow.

I never did spring break either; I'm not much of a beach enthusiast. And at this time of year it's a wee bit too cold for beaches.

Thanks for the update on eyebrow boy. LOL.

4:39 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Violet said...

I didn't go anywhere for Spring Break in High School, generally speaking I was working during my off time. In college, I was always working. Except one year. I got to take a three day weekend to the beach on the last weekend of Spring Break. That was interesting.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

I can believe the part about the nine gallons of milk. A cousin once asked one of our great aunts for milk. She handed him the quart, and she was shocked to see him down the whole quart in seconds.

I always watched the Three Stooges with Officer Joe Bolton the host. The highlight was when Moe came on the show and spoke to Officer Joe for a couple minutes. He still had that haircut.

My mother never allowed my sister to pierce her ears because she said she had nice ears. My sister finally had her ears, and the ears of her daughter pierced at the same time.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

I disagree. I hope bloggers don't take cues from you, other than develop their own talent and style.

6:59 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Hmm, I'm not liking this Mrs. Castleberry at all! beeyatch. A teacher of all people labeling children!

4:59 PM  
Blogger Melanhead said...

Our drivers ed/sex teacher had the exact same face as that tortoise swamp dude in Neverending Story.

6:42 PM  
Blogger reading said...

I never did Spring Break either. I went for Beach Week my sophomore year of college, the week after finals were over - which is the same idea, I think. 20 girls in one house, mostly getting drunk. Really didn't get it.

Driver's ed was driving through the National Guard base in town with my dad in a 1965 VW bug. I took private driver's ed lessons one summer with a couple of friends, and my strongest memory is hanging out the windows, sitting on the door while we took turns practicing parallel parking. Our instructor had such bad body odor we couldn't stand to sit in the car with him in the July heat. That and listening on the radio to the DJ as he called Buckingham Palace to check on the status of Prince William's birth.

Good times!

3:29 PM  
Blogger Hiyapia said...

We all do childish things as children, then we grow up and do amazing things - If it makes you feel any better, Deborah Kleinman WAS a model in Paris, she currently designs handbags! She has made me very proud to be her niece. Who cares if as a child she did childish things! :)

4:57 PM  

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