Tuesday, April 04, 2006

KInky For Governor: Why the Hell Not?


How hard, indeed? To all those right-wing detractors who claim that author/Independent candidate Kinky Friedman's bid for the governorship of Texas is nothing more than a joke....let's take a moment to review. Mmm-kay?

1) Loudmouthed pro-wrestler, Jessie "The Body" Ventura , becomes governor of Minnesota on the Republican ticket.

2) Fred Dalton Thompson (an actor on NBC's "Law & Order") served two years as Republican Senator from Tennessee.

3) Fred Grandy (aka "Gopher" on Love Boat) served as a Republican congressman from his home state of Iowa.

4) Austrian body builder/"Terminator" star, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is now the Republican governor of California.

5) A "B-movie" actor whose most memorable co-star was a chimpanzee, Ronald Reagan, flip-flopped from the Democratic ticket to the Republican in order to become governor of California...and eventually...an Alzheimer's-ridden President of the United States....also on the Republican ticket. Known for referring to homeless people as "campers".

6) George W. Bush wasn't an actor...technically speaking...but all he ever really wanted was to be the commissioner of baseball. God only knows how much better off the country would be if Daddy Bush had simply called in some favors in order to make that happen. He does, however, pretend to be the President (Republican) while allowing Rove/Cheney/Rummy to make all the decisions. And...oh yeah...he used to be the governor of Texas.

So....exactly what is it about Kinky's desire to replace "Governor Rick "Goodhair" Perry that is so humorous. I mean...George W. did it. And like the slogan says, "How hard could it be?"

8 Comments:

Blogger StopKinky said...

It's not just "right-wing detractors" who know Kinky's bid for the governorship of Texas is nothing more than a joke.

Kinky is AWFUL on just about every issue you could imagine. Let me list just a few facts for anyone who thinks Kinky's campaign is cute:

1. Kinky has voted just once in the last 12 years, and that was when he voted for Bush/Cheney in 2004. Kinky explained, "I was for Bush in 2004 ... he's a good man." Kinky has also run (unsuccessfully) for public office as a Republican in the past so he's not such an "independent" candidate?

2. To Kinky, women's rights are a joke. When asked about women's rights, Kinky says "I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football!" That's not funny to the many Texans who know that Texas imposes some of the nation's harshest restrictions on women's reproductive rights. Recently, Kinky has flip-flopped on this issue because he has no real conviction about women's rights. In fact, the National Organization of Women named Kinky "Male Chauvinist Pig of the Year."

3. Kinky appeared on a nationally televised CNBC news program, where he was asked about his views on criminal punishment. Kinky replied, "Throw 'em in prison and throw away the key, and make 'em listen to a Negro talking to himself." When asked whether his use of the word "Negro" was racist, Kinky replied "no ... it's a charming word."

4. Kinky proposes to outsource our border security to five Mexican generals who we'd pay based on how successfully they kept immigrants from crossing the border into Texas. We ought not invite a foreign country to encamp an armed militia on our southern border. don't you think?

5. Kinky wants to give away Texas' temporary budget surplus instead of fully funding the state's bankrupt education system, or expanding health care for children, or addressing the problems with the intrastate roads. Specifically, Kinky wants to take the money generated from our sales tax and other state revenue sources and give that money away only to property owners. Plus, Kinky wants to give more of the money to those people and corporations who own more valuable property. Do you live in an apartment? Tough! Do you live in a modest house? Too bad!

6. Kinky pretends to be a different kind of candidate, but already he's said that he wants to appoint his biggest campaign contributor to the office of Secretary of State. How much more blatantly political cronyism does it take to brand this clown a politician?

7. Kinky supports mandatory school prayer and posting the Ten Commandments in every Texas classroom (does Kinky even know that the Jews, the Catholics, and the Protestants have different "Ten Commandments," and if so which version is he proposing we post in all Texas classrooms?).

3:59 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I don't know much about Kinky, but you make a very good argument.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Daxohol said...

That was a funny post. I feel ya...;-P

8:27 PM  
Blogger Rude Cactus said...

It's funny - I dig the idea of Kinky in the governors mansion but I know nothing about his politics. I say, if you guys end up with another Arnold or Jessie, that would really and truly suck. Got to be better then Dubya though.

5:35 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Hey y'all,

I don't know a thing about Kinky but seeing as Texas gave us Dubya, I think y'all should pay CLOSE attention to who you put in office.

P.S. When the PM of Belgium visited Dubya in D.C., he tried to turn the talk to serious EU issues and all he got was an earful on cycling, Belgium's biggest sport and Dubya's secret passion. Didn't I love reading about that in the local Belgium news.

Wish George would retire and manage a Gold's Gym somewhere.

10:16 AM  
Anonymous diseuse said...

Whoever "stopkinky" is was right, he has flip-flopped on a lot of important issues like women's rights and capital punishment. But I think he is accomplishing what he meant to--he is bringing some pertinent issues about political campaigns, particularly for independents, to light. I think that is the most imporant part of his campaign. Governors in Texas and in other states were never supposed to be solely democrat or republican, but it has become that way.

Funny post, wordgirl. I particularly like Rick "Goodhair" Perry. I prefer Rick "Adios Mofo" Perry, myself.

8:52 PM  
Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I have no idea who Kinky is, but I sure feel for V-grrrl. It's got to be tough being an American living in a foreign country with our current joke of an administration.

4:54 AM  
Blogger Ben Dolan said...

Well, I guess we've established how Kinky is just as bad as everyone else. So I guess I'll have to find other reasons to divide him from the pack.

He smokes cigars and he has spectacularly unconventional facial hair.

Perry is boring.

4:58 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home