Sunday, May 28, 2006

Now I know just how Amalah felt last week

I remember my first commenter. I posted some inane bit of writing about Christmas cards--I think-- and within 10 minutes a guy sent me a note. Ahh....good times. I didn't know him and he hasn't been back since. No matter....he was doing what I assume we all do...surfing around and trying to find writing that makes us sit up and take notice. I hope that guy went on to find a blog (or several) that suited his taste better. Like they say in "The Godfather", 'It's not's just business." Liking or not liking a blog, that is.

What sticks out most in my mind right now is that he didn't feel the need to leave a slasher note telling me how hard my writing/opinion sucked the big pudding and how he stumbled across my festering pustule of a blog and how he's never coming back because of my opinion of Christmas card-sending or how my complaints about living in a democracy where Christmas card sending is a tradition are really a subversive attack on God and why am I bitching about the fact that I don't have time to take a decent picture of my kids for the card while homeless people aren't getting fed and the terrorists are winning and how in the name of Bill O' Reilly is it that I'm not aware that Africa is a beautiful continent and how adopted kids are real and not pretend and deserve to be counted as such by those who laugh at their movie star parents?

I'm appreciating that guy an awful lot right this moment. In honor of him I would like to stop here and address a few people/points specifically.

**Who could have predicted the vitriolic responses from people who, while claiming I don't know shit about Angelina Jolie's personal life (NEVER CLAIMED TO) can follow up that claim with a syncophantic tribute to AJ's blemishless life of philanthropy and compassion while simulaneously besmirching the truly sacrificial life's work of a well-loved nun by daring to compare the two? THAT'S RIGHT CUTEESMILEZ, I'M TALKING TO YOU. YEAH...I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WON'T BE BACK (and from your lips to God's ears, I hope that's true) BUT IT'S ALSO TRUE THAT NARCISSISTS LIKE YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW PEOPLE RESPOND TO STINKBOMBS OF "WISDOM" SUCH AS THE ONE YOU DROPPED HERE, SO MAYBE YOU'LL COME BACK TO PEEK THROUGH THE FENCE. I'LL BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU, SISTER. NO ONE HERE THINKS YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT JOLIE EITHER. THE TRUTH IS...NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT HER...OR ANYONE ELSE WHO IS FAMOUS. THE HOLLYWOOD SPIN WORKS BOTH WAYS. HALF OF THE CRAP WE HEAR ABOUT IS THE WORK OF LYING PUBLICITY AGENTS AND IT COVERS UP THE STUFF WE DON'T HEAR ABOUT THAT'S PROBABLY STRANGER THAN FICTION.

Take that story about Oprah --a woman with about a bascrillion dollars in the bank--for instance and how she's throwing Vince and Jennifer an 8 million dollar wedding? It's about as plausible as it is implausible, no? I mean she threw that Legends Ball deal where guests were spooning liquid gold soup out of platinum bowls and The Goddess That Is Oprah presented everyone from whom she claims to have gained influence and inspiration-- from Halle Berry to Dr. Maya Angelou-- with chandelier-sized diamond earrings and everyone sobbed into their Valentino-clad cleavages and sang praise songs about Miss O...a woman who could buy and sell each and every one of them many times over. Aaaaa-men!

So believing the wedding story is just as easy as not. The same goes for my speculation regarding the outcomes of the Cruise/Holmes engagement and the Jolie/Pitt partnering. And I'm not going to apologize for my opinion about those people. People who don't like what they read here and feel the urge to tarry and be uncivilized at the same time should not feel obligated to continue reading ...please don't let the door hit you on the way out.

In addition--

**To "Anonymous" who accused me of being anti-feminist for describing Jolie as "acting like a man": My description wasn't a compliment, dear and I wasn't endorsing the archaic tradition of gender roles. I HATE gender roles...regardless of whatever justification one uses. What I was implying was that men usually do the leaving when abandonment of family is the order of the day. I'm not praising the practice. I'm condemning it. It just so happens that it's Jolie who is calling the shots in this relationship and I predict a bad end to her relationship with Brad. I'm just making an observation and though the horizon looks dire for the following claim, I still believe that it's a free country...for the moment. Don't kill the messenger.

**To "Anonymous" (Who knew there were so many people named Anonymous???) who thinks I don't have any strong women in my life. That's right, Einstein...ignore the other 130+ posts on this blog where I talk about me or my family and friends and USE JUST THIS ONE about famous people to make assumptions about me. I have plenty of strong women in my life ( I just hope you never have to meet either of my sisters in a dark alley)...they just don't need to wear the blood of their husbands/sons/brothers/lovers in a vial around their necks or tattoo a Cambodian bar code on their backs to prove it. (Note to anyone with a tattoo....I don't have a problem with tattoos. Really. I can't say I won't ever get one.)

**To "Anonymous" who thinks I don't like adopted children and that I hate Africa and to another "Anonymous" who adopted a kid from Ethopia and thinks I'm dissing her kid or adopted kids or adopted kids from foreign countries ( Why else would she be so pissed?) as well as yet another "Anonymous" who thinks I'm favoring Jennifer Aniston over Angelina I would ask you all to put down the crackpipes and READ THE POST AGAIN. S-L-O-W-L-Y. And no...I don't mind it if your lips move while you read. See the pretty words? Do I question Angelina's trip to Africa (which was really just a way to find a private place to give birth and not a Goodwill mission of mercy at all)? No I do not. Please do not confuse my words with the words of other commenters.

Do you see the words "Jennifer Aniston" in that post? Do you? Of course you don't. It's because they're not there. I made no assumptions about prior marriages or pairings. Don't pretend that I did just to give you something to write about. Do I malign in any way the babies of foreign countries? Of course not. I loves me some babies...all colors. And you...that first "Anonymous" commenter who got upset because I didn't count Maddox and Zahara as the first kids of Pitt? Well...they're not his...yet. And besides....the post was a comparison of two men with a movie to promote and who were paired with a woman who was not yet his wife who was also heavily pregnant with his child. I was looking at the behaviors of those two men. Nothing else. My words should not in anyway threaten your memberships in the Angelina Jolie Fanclub International, so step off!

To "Funo" who haltingly claimed that I had TOO MUCH TIME on my hands to set the pretty stones in a row. Yeah's called being an artist, Funo. Read my profile. Sometimes people pay me MONEY to paint pretty things for them...and that requires the time you speak of. Yes, I do like salad (thanks for asking) and yes I'm glad that, after three kids, I don't look like Carnie Wilson. However, your opinion about the length of my husband's hair (Oh...I get it...yours is falling out!!) is stepping over the line between casual observation and cruising for a non-surgical facial alteration. If you see me on the cover of the Enquirer, feel free to offer your opinions about me. Otherwise the only person who appears to be burdened with too much time on his hands is you, given your need (and Time!!) to scroll through my Flickr account before offering comments.

**Someone left behind the stunning generalization claiming "ALL DAD'S (sic) ARE GREAT". Really? All of them? Don't feel you have to answer too quickly. Because I think there's a mother of two little boys, ages 4 & 8, (whose father threw them off of the roof of a 15-story hotel this week in Miami Beach) who would disagree with you right now. Do you own a newspaper or a television?

**And for the record....someone needs to check the date on the post before fretting about the fact that I don't write about IMPORTANT WORLD AFFAIRS LIKE INDONESIA!! My post was written on Thursday the 25th!! The debacle in Indonesia didn't happen until Saturday. Get a calendar and don't come back until you do!

**Please me from the semi-literate rantings of those who claim they simply logged onto their computers to "check their e-mail" and, instead, found my blog. Aside from the fact that it is technologically impossible to find me merely by checking your e-mail (While you are no doubt awaiting a message from your buddy who has a really great porn sight for you to check out), it is important for you to know that your opinion, like that of so many others who want the benefit of being heavyhanded with their criticism while maintaining the all-important anonymity, loses much of its validity when you offer said comments without letting us know who you are. Sure...I have a site meter that tells me where you guys are located and your ISP numbers. But your comments--minus any referring blog/e-mail/website--are really just a limp slap, rather than the powerful punches you intended.

**To the guy who thinks I'm not aware that America isn't what it used to be? What?? You think I can't see the changes? You think I don't know that my rights aren't getting sold to Halliburton so that someone else can listen in on my conversations and then read a whitewashed version of today's news on FOX? that hurts my feelings! But I don't think it has a damned thing to do with baby Shiloh being born in Namibia. Try again.

I do appreciate the folks who dropped by to say hello (even anonymously) and decided to stick around for the fracas. I hope you come back when the room isn't so crowded with idiots. Please know that my decision to prohibit anonymous comments on the blog from here on out is not because of you. Not everyone who comments necessarily wants a blog or has one. That's fine. It's because of the other eleventy-three "anonymous" people who are too cowardly to let me know who they are but who still want to make salacious claims against me without having to face the obvious verbal rebuttal that follows. Here's where you get off.

If I didn't like criticism I would simply delete what I didn't like. I LOVE a good fight...I just enjoy it more when I know who I'm having it with. I've never deleted comments before now and I probably won't unless someone decides to get really filthy. I think I'll leave these as they are so that others can more fully appreciate the writings of those whose atrocious reading comprehension is exceeded only by their shameful inability to use a dictionary or utilize simple subject/verb agreement. I love all my commenters...even the ones who disagree with me...just as long as they sign the nasty note with their real names before wrapping it around a brick and hurling it through my window!! And of course, I don't mind the nicer folks who find it necessary not to use their names. It does, however, leave me feeling *sigh* a little empty.

As far as I'm concerned, the discussion is over. It is for that reason that I've disabled the comments for that post only. Just that one. I've heard it all...even the nice stuff. I'm pouring myself a glass of wine and going to my happy place. I'll see you all on Tuesday.


Blogger Mignon said...

Whoa, you go to Big Timber for a weekend and a whole trailer court full of idiots stampede Half the Sky.

And in addition (although, really why do I try, because it's almost silly to say 'in addition' to anything Ms. Wordgirl has said), I warn all you Anon trash-talkers, our friend and the lovely author of this site eats people like you for lunch, then can craft a beautifully decorated footstool out of the lump of shit that's left of you after you've been digested.

(S - the original post was snarky and fun, but this one kicks ass!)

8:37 PM  
Blogger gidget said...

mignon's preoccupation with fecal matter is consistent with the surroundings where she resides in wordgirl's lower bowel. what both of you have in common with tom cruise is an intolerance for anyone who disagrees with you.

however, i am duly warned and with mignon's assurance, wordgirl is welcome to eat me for lunch or any other time. :)

9:38 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:43 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Gee Gidget- I see you've managed to miss the point (and Mignon's) by a the very least. Can't say I'm surprised, though. Anyone surprised? I forced a few losers to create a fake blog in order to earn some street cred. Whatever.

9:47 PM  
Blogger cameo said...

wow! what is going on here? it seems you have stirred the pot word girl! this shit is getting a little crazy, no? i'm with you! if there is something you read that you don't agree with, leave! it's as simple as that. but if you feel the need to comment, at least respect yourself enough to stand firmly behind your beliefs and own them. we all could walk around hiding behind fake blogs and anonymous comments, but why? because we can't stand intolerance of OUR OWN thoughts? ah! i believe there's some ironic hypocracy here! as for what you said in you last post - i think the whole tom/katie thing is sick. poor girl. but as far as the brad/angelina thing - i think they really have something. can't go into too much detail as to why, but they're far more like minded than you might suspect. she is a strong woman - no doubt about that- but she respects him immensely and they have something good. for now, at least - everything always has the potential to shift.

10:14 PM  
Blogger gidget said...

wordgirl, neither of your points were complicated. you've proven my point that if one isn't in agreement, you take issue. it's your party, so have at it.

10:23 PM  
Blogger Neil said...

You haven't really "made it" in the blogosphere until you've gotten a whole bunch of people upset at you over some post.

1:27 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

G- Wrong again. It's not the act of disagreement. It's the manner with which it's expressed...even over such a trivial topic. Your invitation to "dine" in your first comment was a fine example. For a post which is, as you say, so uncomplicated you still have great trouble grasping that.

Neil- You can just never tell what will upset people, though that was not my intent.

5:22 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Can't say that I care a whole lot about the celebs, but I love your writing. I kind of look at it like this: You could write about fish wrap and it would be worth reading.

6:06 AM  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Heeheehee I loves me a feisty woman.

I was busy for a couple of days and missed all the damn fun ... I'm gonna go scroll through and come back ...

6:10 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Like I said before...I love it when you're snarky, Wordgirl. And this, by far, is the best rebuttal I've ever read. Ever.

6:27 AM  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Well, that was as much fun as I've had in weeks! I loved scrolling through the semi-literate rantings, sage (if anonymous) pronouncements on the state of other peoples' relationships, and confident statements about the nature of their characters.

And as always, your brilliant response to the cacaphony was a delight to read ...

6:31 AM  
Blogger Marcie said...

89 comments. WTF? You hit the big time with that last post. Why did a post about Angelina, Brad and Tom get so many people's panties in a wad? Those people really care too deeply, they need to put down the People magazine and walk away slowly. Like you said, it's all a fantasy world. It was just some snark about Hollywood people. We all do it to some extent and those who say they don't are liars.
Love you Wordgirl, you're the coolest:)

6:35 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

No, Gidget, I just have an intolerance for people that are ignorant and barely literate. And, for the record, this does not include you, because you seem to be able to string together sentences in a fairly coherent manner. Although, you're very close to being summarily dismissed if you criticize me or anyone without actually listening to/reading what I've said. I'll give you an out this time.

And, to continue to mercilessly flog this dead horse, if Wordgirl doesn't agree with you, she'll argue with you. As she said, we call this kind of thing discourse, or a discussion. I think even you can agree, if someone expresses an opinion contrary to your own you tend to respond. Get it? She's responding to contrary opinions by exrpessing her own. Are you criticizing her for this?

(Sorry, Wordgirl, my own blog's boring me right now so I apologize if I'm picking fights on yours...)

9:39 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...


Plus this had me laughing so hard I cried. Tears of pure joy.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Ben Dolan said...


I haven't read the blog for a few days and when I finally returned, there seemed to be something amiss.

I just wrote out a long, sarcastic question about the contents of the previous blogs but then I deleted them, thinking, "Ok, my joke might bring the crazies back."

3:37 PM  
Blogger TB said...

Jesus, Sorry that happened. Where the hell did those folks even come from? Well, I guess you've hit the big time, for whatever that gets you. Nice comeback!

8:15 AM  
Blogger mothergoosemouse said...

Oy. What the hell happened here?

Wordgirl, you rule. And I have to admit that reading through all the comments on the other post made me giggle. I mean really, it's all speculation. And I think it's a teensy bit sad that so many people spent so much time crafting lengthy responses defending these celebrities whom they don't even know.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Rock said...

Whew! I'm like Mig - comeback from a vacation and Half of the Sky has turned into the Drudge Report.

Wordgirl hit a blogoshpere Perfect Storm - right after whe wrote a relatively tame, but snarkily delightful (and short!) diddy on two unmarried power couples...little Shiloh is born. And then she gets a flood of lookiloos who are surfing on-line to read about Brangelina's new kid over the weekend and they get googled over to her site. And insanity ensues.

You can almost tell by what they write when someone does not have a blog of their own or wants to ID themselves. This is how it was 10 years ago on the three times I went into chatrooms back then. Just trash. You can tell they don't have a blogger sensibility that I think many of us try to uphold.

The blogger-world lets us adopt anonymous but still identifiable on-line guises and interact in a fairly gentile way - even if we disagree. Because, in the end, you don't want your blog or its rep trashed.

This other fracas is what happens when you let unwanted loafers wander by your house. Trash in the yard.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Seems like way too much drama for the holiday weekend. I love internet drama and I'm sorry I missed it.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Trish said...

Oh and I think it's HILARIOUS that you got 89 comments on a post about celebrity babies. Who are the real freaks here, internet people? HAHAHAHAHA

i lUV thE intERneT & i LiKe pIE
leTZZZZ chAt

12:05 PM  
Blogger Lucky Lum said...

Well shit I missed it all when it hit the fan!
I just read the previous post and am totally cracking up!
You say what ever you want when you want.

6:09 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oh my God!! What happened while I took the weekend off??

Wordgirl strung together her usual fabulous prose and some people got their panties in a wad.

Wordgirl, you rock!

7:49 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

Ohhh. myyyy. goddddd.

You really stepped in it, didn't you? I was amen-ing you prior to the *real* reason to amen - geesh. I have always been a premature amen-er, though.

'Cause, shoot! You done tole them, missy.

My *favorite* crazed comments were the ones that went on & on & on & on ad naseum about the reasons that the various celebs involved in the Brad/Tom scenes did this or that, what their motivations were, etc. (Although I had to force myself to read some of them, given the feeling that I was bathing my eyes in an incendiary blend of Borax and ammonia, what with the grammar/spelling insanity.)

I will never forget to read your blog on an hourly basis again. Because, oh damn, you give good snark.

p.s. I totally forgive you for snarking. Not that I was ever upset to begin with. I only de-snarkified my words about a certain, ahem, someone due to fellow-mommy guilt. Rest assured that I feel disinclined to remain snark-free about anything that isn't fellow-mommy fodder.

Word, Wordgirl.

8:57 PM  
Blogger Pope-rah said...

Okay, I had to go back and read about this ruckass you started. It really is ridiculous when people get all pissy with you about the drivel we discuss on the web. Stay strong, my sister in snark! Much love.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Mom / Ma'am / Me said...

i think you rock, Wordgirl. This post and the previous one were just wonderful, and I'm not always a fan of snark (because it's not always done well.)

I think you especially are cool for responding to the commenters who were too lame and/or insecure in their own opinions to leave their actual information. I do think people have the right to disagree, if it's done semi-respectfully and if they have the balls to own up to their opinion. (They do get a couple of points if they establish their own blog just to comment here, even if their opinions aren't very well formed.)

And Gidget, it's not a matter of intolerance for people who disagree, it's just the method that's objectionable. If people made valid points with tongue-in-cheek, or with a respectful tone, that would be a different thing entirely.

2:24 PM  

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