Sunday, May 07, 2006

OVERHEARD AT THE BALLPARK


We watched the New York Yankees leave the Texas Rangers in the dust for the third time this week...and this afternoon found us at AmeriQuest Field witnessing the devastation in person. Bummer. But that's not what this post is about. It's about keeping your eyes and ears open and finding out that a ballpark contains as varied an array of humanity as the bus station or the airport or the DMV. Sometimes edifying and, at turns, disgusting...but always entertaining.

Overheard Remark # 1

The guy behind us, a Yankees fan, continually referred to Ranger's player Mark Teixeira (pronounced Tuh-Sheera) as "Texi-ara". He did this despite the announcer's continual narration of the game wherein the correct pronunciation of the name was heard no less than 50 times. This hearkens back to a long-ago post where we discussed blatant mis-pronounciations of words by our friends and colleagues. Further proof that some individuals, when confronted with repeated information about correct pronounciation of words, will insist on using the ones they're currently committed to.
Overheard Remark #2

The same guy behind us was taking it upon himself to "educate" his wife/girlfriend about the correct way to read the scoreboard. He elaborated about how "E" stood for Errors and "R" stood for Runs. He explained every detail of the scoreboard. He was fairly loud and heavyhanded in his explanation, as though she were hard of hearing or perhaps...simple. When the JumboTron displayed the picture and stats for the Yankee's Robinson Cano, it revealed that he was from San Pedro, DR. The woman asked him what DR meant and he said, "Well...it means he's from the Dominican Republican. Or, if you prefer, the Dominica Republica." Girlfriend said, "Well...which one is it?" He told her that one was English and one was Spanish, but in this country we refer to his country as Dominican Republican. There were a few seconds of quiet before the girlfriend said, "Uh....I don't think that's right." He was fairly indignant, having just appointed himself her baseball mentor/educator and insisted that this was the name of the country.Seen & Overheard #3

Mr. Half takes a trip to one of the many men's restrooms when upon entering he sees a drunk/ill teenage girl on the floor near the sinks. A stadium attendant had just reached the bathroom and had begun trying to assist her.

Attendant: "Uh...Miss? Excuse me...but are you drunk?"
Girl: "Uh-huh".
Attendant: "Okay...are you aware that you're in the men's bathroom?"
Girl: "Uh......yeahhhhhh"

********************

In that crush of humanity, however, you'll also find some incredible gems. Teebs called me the other day and we had a lovely talk. For the record, she sounds nothing like a robot and I tried not to offend her with my Texas accent. I'm looking forward to flying to an undisclosed location in June and meeting her along with Mignon (not pronounced like the bacon-wrapped meat...I've been practicing), Arabella & Mrs. Harridan. Anyone who'd like to take a chance and meet us there needs to contact Arabella STAT!

16 Comments:

Anonymous lildb said...

Hilarious! Uhhhh... yeaahhh... I *always* drag my drunk ass into the men's w.c. when I feel the desire to lick flooring. It's ever so much brinier and primordial-stewier. Yum! Hope your husband had already used the, erm, facility, so there were no mishaps resulting from too much laughter/subsequent pressure on the bladder.

Delightful story. :P

10:05 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Too funny. I can't stand know-it-alls like that dude.

I've been dying to do a "things overheard at court" post but really don't want to get fired. I think I may start taking notes and writing it just in case.

4:43 AM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

What an obnoxious guy!! Too funny to overhear it though. I would just have hated to be the girlfriend.

Hey, in our neck of the woods, it's a bacon wrapped piece of meat. I would have to practice that nonstop. I love that name though. It always makes me think of the time my oldest took a girl to prom and she ordered the Filet Mignon and pronounced it phonetically. That's how we always say it now at my house.

5:40 AM  
Blogger Marcie said...

Remark #2-I bet that's how Tom Cruise talks to Katie. Sounds like a fun day at the baseball park:)

5:53 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Thanks WordGirl. I thought your accent was lovely and not at all twangy. Looking forward to seeing you and the rest of the B-list posse in a few short weeks. I promise to make sure you stay out of the men's room.

8:15 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I hate that idiots try to spread their "knowledge." Can't they resist the urge to infect more of our nation?!

Girl in the men's bathroom: ewwwww. Sometimes I wonder about my OWN bathroom, let alone a public one at a ballpark. And where was her wingman?

8:19 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Y'all are never going to forget that robot comment, are you? It was meant in the nicest possible way...
Yes, for anyone curious, it's Min-YONE.

That story made me scared for that girl. Like what could've happened to her if the wrong guy had walked in before your husband. I saw something like that at a Dave Mathews concert once. An older guy was trying to get a wasted teenage girl (whom he didn't know) in his car to "give her a ride home" and she barfed all over his front seat. When we walked up he was trying to kick her out of the car and drive away, so we set up camp behind his car so he couldn't leave, my friend (a doctor) took care of the girl and we called the cops. Yeah, buzzkill for him. Bastard. (Sorry for the marathon comment, I hadn't thought about that night in years...)

10:54 AM  
Blogger Lisa Ann said...

I always manage to be sitting next to the know-it-all guy at ballgames. Or the really-drunk-and obnoxious one.

12:56 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

Dominican Republican. LMAO.

And just for the record, I loooove Texas accents. And I totally want detailed accounts of every second you guys spend together in June. Okay?

And, um, just so I know, so when I'm pronouncing it in my head, how do you say Mignon's name?

1:00 PM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

MT- It's MIN-YONE. I think the accent is on the second syllable.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous sweatpantsmom said...

Let's just hope and pray that Mr. Dominica Republican isn't a schoolteacher and trying to "educate" others besides his girlfriend.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Oh classic! People watching, or in your case, People listening, provides such great entertainment!

2:22 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

What an egotistical jerk!

3:12 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

I love ballgames. Your descriptions of the people were priceless.

Did you get any Cracker Jack?

Oh, and Mignon, that's a creepy story. It was very good of you and your friend to care for that girl.

4:13 PM  
Blogger daysgoby said...

oh my gosh - did you take pictures?

One of him wagging his finger in her face (waxing poetic about Dominica Rupublican) would be priceless!

4:29 PM  
Blogger Jozet said...

Bah!!!!

Yeah, you know...Candid Camera ended way too soon.

The girl in the bathroom...oye vey!

5:27 PM  

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