Tuesday, June 20, 2006

June 21st, 1986...The Summer Solstice

"Marriage isn't a vessel
it's salt pouring freely
from a clear shaker.
It's rows of blue birds
on a cedar fence.
Suddenly, they lift..."
-- Joan Logghe (From "Twenty Years in Bed with the Same Man")

Dear Bryan,

I never had any reason to maintain the faith that marriage was a good thing. Square pegs forced to live in round holes. One person's dreams leaving no room for the desires of the other. One identity folded into another so tightly that the first becomes invisible. Two people living by traditional expectations and roles having nothing to do with talent or ability or passion. Pummeling the joy out of every moment...reducing everything down to a late bill payment, a burnt meal, a failed enterprise, or hurt feelings. In spite of all of this, I kept my expectations high. Not for love, which came and went. I confess to sampling freely and often from that table.

But when it came to attempting FOREVER, I waited for the man who could show love as well as speak the language. You were the first in that respect. Anyone can affect a proper observance for love's High Holy Days...the birthday, Mother's Day, the anniversary. In the end, none of that means anything nor contributes significantly to the reality of living the rest of your life with one other human being. Rare is the man who can live the reality in its best light every single day and yet here you are. I waited for you. I've never regretted it. Thank you for the best 20 years of my life.



Blogger Arabella said...

What a beautiful tribute.

You two make me look forward to the future. I am crying.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Gina said...

Happy Anniversary to both of you!

Twenty years is something to be very proud of.

Here's to another twenty!

10:24 AM  
Blogger Shelley said...


Congratulations on your first twenty years together.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I read this post THREE times.

Simply beautiful.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

Congrats on 20 years!
This is a WONDERFUl post! Your words touched me!!!!
Enjoy your day!

11:29 AM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Wow. What a great post. Happy Anniversary.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Happy Anniversary! I hope you do someting special to celebrate that will leave you looking forward to the next twenty years even more!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Awww! Loved that. Congrats.

12:55 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Awesome. Happy Anniversary!

1:05 PM  
Blogger aka Brandi said...


What a great post and I love that picture.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Antique Mommy said...

Such sweet words. Here's wishing you another twenty years together.

1:22 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

"One identity folded into another so tightly that the first becomes invisible."

Geez, you send shivers up my spine. Simply awesome.

Bummer that he's out in the woods camping.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Happy Anniversary :-)

5:42 PM  
Blogger MommaK said...

Beautiful!! And I love the pictures...


7:20 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I looked at the photo at the bottom and the first thing I thought was how well-suited you guys looked for each other. You look like a good couple. A good fit.

Happy Anniversary...this was awesome.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on your anniversary! The post/letter is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

8:15 PM  
Blogger jess said...

So pretty. The letter and both of you (well in a ruggedly handsome kind of way for hubs.)


9:59 PM  
Blogger Baking and Books said...

What a beautiful entry, happy anniversary!!


10:00 PM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

Aw girl. Happy Anniversary!

10:08 PM  
Blogger Freakazojd said...

Absolutely beautiful. Happy anniversary!

12:31 AM  
Blogger Peggy said...

Absolutely lovely. Congratulations and best wishes for many more years of love & laughter.

3:19 AM  
Blogger Ayun said...

Congratulations...a beautifully expressed sentiment celebrating a union that inspires!

6:03 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Yeah...he's gone to scout camp, but he came back in yesterday afternoon and we left did the dinner/hotel thing. He goes back this afternoon. Next week we'll go to IKEA to buy a chair for the living room. That's our gift to each other, in a way.

9:19 AM  
Blogger LetterB said...

Such a lovely post. You are a brilliant writer. Happy Anniversary!

11:32 AM  
Blogger CISSY said...

That's beautiful. I'm glad you don't limit yourself to 25 words. Happy Anniversary.

11:52 AM  
Blogger The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Yay! Happy anniversary!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Contemplative Chaplain said...


R. and I celebrated only 3 years on this summer solstice. We share an anniversary. Blessings to you on this twenty years...

3:32 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

I just discovered your blog recently, but I really love reading it. Today's post warranted a comment because it was so beautiful. The two of you, the summer solstice, twenty years. I am unbelievably envious and happy for the both of you.

5:22 PM  
Blogger Mom / Ma'am / Me said...

Happy Anniversary. I LOVE the bottom picture -- the way you look together speaks volumes about your relationship.

7:19 PM  
Blogger cameo said...


7:31 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

That was excellent. Sometimes I read your writing and think 'hm, great writer,' and sometimes I read it and say 'damn that was funny.' This time it reminded me of how wicked smart you are. And lovely, of course. Congratulations to the two of you - good job on those boys of yours too!

9:07 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Kvelling! I'm kvelling!

9:29 PM  
Blogger Marcie said...

You guys are cute:)

5:44 AM  
Blogger Misfit Hausfrau said...

That was GREAT!

7:24 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

that was so lovely. thank you for sharing it. would that I could express myself even somewhat as eloquently to my partner.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Rock said...

blah blah blah

2:35 AM  
Blogger Leah said...

That was beautiful!! And you two are so cute! (My bf has long hair that he wears just like that as well. I'll bet they could talk shampoo.)

9:08 AM  
Blogger TB said...

Happy Anniversary a little late. Beautiful post.

9:56 AM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Just BEAUTIFUL. Congrats to you both!

3:17 PM  
Blogger ~L~ said...

this was beautiful...... esp the "now" picture

10:14 AM  
Blogger Plain Jane said...

Just lovely.

11:56 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

That was nice, and I still think you are losing weight.

8:27 AM  

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