The Sexiest Men. Fo Reals Y'all!
Okay...I know I almost started an insurrection by criticizing celebrities on this site a few weeks ago and though I reserve the right to continue on that path of unrepentant snark, I'm taking a different tack tonight. I'm using the above photos to illustrate a point. Look at the pictures and figure out the common denominator or simply continue reading.
My aim is simple: I'm going to provide men with a simple-but-crucial piece of the puzzle that has dogged them since time began. The question being, "What do women want from us?"
Intelligence? Yes, it's a must. Humor? Make us laugh and you're halfway home, my friend. Loyalty? Sure, that helps. We even like a stunningly handsome exterior, but it's not always required. Yeah...we're funny that way.
But what IS it about men that makes even the steeliest female reserve melt like a crayon on a hot Texas sidewalk? I hope you've got your pencils and paper ready because I'm about to make an important point. Here it is: It's a man who loves his children. Or any children for that matter.
No, I'm not kidding. A man who doesn't merely speak of his love for his kids but who SHOWS that love in a public place...honestly and often? A man who tenderly holds a baby close without acting as though it's a bomb getting ready to explode? A man who crouches low to hear the nonsensical words of a toddler or who doesn't mind drawing pictures with his daughter at the kitchen table or giving his son a bottle in the middle of the night? Let me tell you a little secret about women. We know the difference between a guy who tolerates infants and their body functions and one who willingly enjoys sniffing the top of a baby's head. Knowing a man who never, EVER refers to an afternoon with his children as babysitting?? A guy who doesn't see a pregnant woman as fat but as a flushed and warm cocoon for the child they made together. Yeah....uh...it makes us sweat.
The sight of you nibbling on your son's ear causes a little something in our pelvic region to give way and we are helpless to overcome the urge to have our way with you right there in the aisle at Target. You don't believe me? Go to an arts festival in your town (I did this, so I can attest to its truth) and have your husband strap on a Snugli front pack with a baby (hopefully yours) in it. Send him to get beer and then count the women who are inexplicably drawn to him like metal shavings to a magnet. Told ya.
A man like that? He makes every egg in our ovaries rise up and salute before exploding in a glittery shower of tiny valentine hearts, rainbows and sweet baby chicks. You think I'm kidding? I'm totally not.
I'm very lucky because Mr. Half is a baby-loving nutcase who can't pass a kid on the street without waving or speaking to him/her. He was a counselor at the same pediatric cancer camp where I teach art now and I've seen him completely lose it emotionally when one of those kids experiences even the smallest life victory....and even when they lose the battle altogether. Say it with me now..."a tender-hearted man is a STRONG man".
I say this because I wanted to give a big shout out to the bloggers I know who don't have to be prompted to show us how much they dig their families. Chris at Rude Cactus never fails to verbally groove on his baby daughter Mia and his posts frequently and openly demonstrate his love for her as well as his wife Beth. Chag at Cynical Dad is a stay-at-home father to Zed and Zoey. It would not be adviseable to tell him that caring for children is "women's work". Not unless you want him and every mother who reads this to hunt you down like a dog in the road. And then there's Nilbo. Yeah...his daughters are college graduates and one's getting married, but his pride in his kids is still so obvious. Add this to their writing abilities and you've got THE REAL MEASURE OF A MAN.
So...yeah...I took a potshot at the Pitt-Jolie hook-up and I still completely suspect that Angelina will kick him to the curb eventually. And despite the fact that the dismally traditional Parade Magazine is already saying that Pitt has lost his appeal (as a "real man", dontcha know!) to the masses because he's following the mother of his child to Namibia ("like a puppy" is how they put it), the sight of this man gazing at his tiny daughter with an expression of awe and wonder is almost too much to take. The minute this People Magazine spread hit the stands, women all over the world began ovulating in unison. Can they give the Sexiest Man Alive award to the same person twice??? I'm just asking, because you can't argue with biology and all my eggs are voting the same way. Can I get a witness?